Love Letters From A Therapist's Journal: Dear Emotionally Exhausted You

Hello, Love Letter Family,

Good Morning, Afternoon, Evening or Night! I hope this week finds you well.

Welcome back to Love Letters From A Therapist's Journal.  Each blog post, there will be a different love letter written to a specific version of you.

Please visit the blog to view the previous letters I have written to you. And the one I wrote to me.

This week’s love letter is Dear Emotionally Exhausted You. This is the version of you that is at an "emotional boiling point." You are at your limit with emotions. You just cannot tolerate feeling anything else right now. Emotions can be a lot, all at once. They can be literally exhausting. I want to share some tools to help a busy woman like you emotionally reset when you're overwhelmed. Hopefully, these tools can help you to avoid being emotionally overwhelmed in the first place. Or at least to reduce the intensity when and if you do. As usual, these are tools I have acquired through my own struggles with self-care. I share them because I hope can be helpful to you.

Let's begin with this week's letter:

Dear Emotionally Exhausted You,

You feel tired. Not just physically tired. You're emotionally tired. All of the above. You may snap at your loved ones for no reason. You might not feel like being around people, even the people you love. People you normally enjoy the company of. You may feel tired all the time, for no apparent reason. But the reason could be that you are emotionally drained.

Let me get this out of the way, so there is no question about it. Your emotional exhaustion is NOT failure. It is not a result of anything you did wrong. It is not something you can "snap out of." It is something you can recover from. And it is something you can get through, with help and guidance. So let's get to the help and the guidance.

1. Recognize Your Emotions

First, we have to recognize what our emotions are, before we can make any changes.  Recognize what we are feeling.   We cannot address what we do not recognize.  Let's use one of my favorite tools to help uncover emotions-journaling!   You knew it was coming lol.  Let's try these journaling prompts to uncover our feelings.  You can use these ( or just journaling)  when you have a strong emotion or if you anticipate a situation that might cause you strong emotions. 

1. In this moment, my strongest emotion is..............  (if it applies, go to the next one).

2. I also feel............

3. If I had to rate these on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst, I would rate it............. (and why)

   
   

You can use these journaling prompts or you could just journal and write out your feelings as the flow.  The point is to get emotions out. We can be emotionally exhausted from feeling a strong emotion or it can be an accumulation of a lot of emotions at once or one emotion after another.  The first step is to recognize them.  Now on to the next step. 

2. Address The Emotions

After we recognize the emotions, we have to address them.   Emotions can admittedly be very troubling on their own. However, they can become more disturbing due to our self-talk, the negative messages we speak to ourselves when we are feeling the emotions.   Since we cannot exert full control of our emotions, we can at least control what we tell ourselves during them.   So long story short, we are going to change our language.    Let's make a note of the self-talk we participate in when experiencing strong emotions (both negative and positive messages).   You can do that in your journaling  or you can make a mental note of it.

The way we speak is to ourselves in life and during situations is so central to our self-care.  This is also the basis of another one of my favorite tools, affirmations.  As I stated during last week's blog,  Dear Trying Your Very Best You,  in challenging moments, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and remind myself:

“This difficult moment does not define my whole day.”-There is our Affirmation.  You can make your own affirmations by making the negative messages you repeat to yourself and making them positive.  Positive affirmations are a powerful way to shift from a negative mindset to a healthier one.

Remember,  We internalize what we repeat, good or bad. Think about the words you say to yourself every day—out loud or internally. Those words matter. You can use affirmations from a list (like the 5 Free Affirmations and Reset Tool you can download below), or you can create your own by reframing negative thoughts.  Now on to the next step.

3. Release The Emotions

We can't keep all of our emotions bottled up.  It is good to recognize and address them.  But we have to release them.  They have to go.  Other emotions will come along soon, anyway.  No use in holding on to these-they are causing us harm.  Draining us.   Remember the Law of Conservation of Energy-Energy is neither gained nor lost.  It is transformed from one form to another.  So we have to find something to do to release the energy. 

Find an activity that helps you the let go of the energy.  Some enjoy screaming into a pillow-some do it minus the pillow lol.   Some like to take a long run.  Some like to hit a punching bag.  Some have a good cry.  Some visit church, a house of worship or pray to a Higher Power.  Some talk to a trusted friend, family member or a therapist.  Some go watch a movie and have a good laugh. You have to identify your own positive way to release emotion.  But you have to find a way.  You already know it-you just have to remember.  Now to the final step.

4. Rest.  And Remember 

After you have your emotional release, give yourself rest.  We cannot be in a constant state of just doing.  Emotional release uses a lot of energy.  We have to restore ourselves.  And rest.  Whatever that looks like to you.  Take a nap.  Take a moment alone.  Light your favorite candle.   Listen to some inspirational music.  We have to take a moment of pause.  Also, It is important to remember the tools we have learned so we can apply them in the future.  So we don't have to start over.  We are building our skill set, our tool kit.  So we know what to use.   When moments arise. This is what self-care is about.  Learning as we go, to manage ourselves.  Because our self-care has to evolve and change, as we do.    

Closing the Letter

Dear Emotionally Exhausted You, 

You are reclaiming your self-care. You recognize you are emotionally exhausted and you are getting tools to manage it.  Be gentle and patient with yourself.  Be compassionate.  Growth is not always linear.  Appreciate the moments of growth that are not always obvious.

You are doing an amazing job of making yourself a priority.  You are crushing this! 

With Love,

From Your Therapist’s Journal

Life moves fast, and it’s easy to get caught in the chaos without taking a moment for yourself.

That’s why I created two quick, powerful tools to help you reset exactly when you need it most:

• Mini Reset Tool – simple steps to refocus and regain calm

• 5 Free Affirmation Cards – 5 reminders of your worth, even on busy days

  
  

SEND ME THE RESET TOOLS NOW!

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  This is part of the self-care system created by me, a therapist, to help you, a busy woman manage your self-care and find a plan that works for you.  Another part of the system, the Self-Care Manual, "The Manual", will be launching soon (very soon) and I am so excited to share it with you! 

Leave a comment below—tell me what you are going to do to release your energy!

Encouraging Words for the Week

“It’s not the thing itself, but how you use it.”

― A.D. Aliwat, In Limbo

About the Author

Lauren Cartwright, MS, LCPC, is a licensed therapist with over 20 years of experience helping women prioritize self-care, emotional wellness, and balance in their everyday lives. She specializes in supporting professional women who feel overwhelmed, burned out, or disconnected from themselves.

Through Love Letters From A Therapist’s Journal, Lauren blends clinical insight, compassion, faith, and honesty to help readers reset their mindset, practice grace-filled self-care, and reconnect with who they are, without guilt or pressure. She believes self-care should be realistic, sustainable, and personalized, not another impossible expectation.

Lauren is a Black woman, a Christian, a mother, and a breast cancer survivor. Her work is grounded in the belief that healing begins with compassion, intentional rest, and learning how to care for yourself in ways that truly fit your life.