Love Letters From A Therapist's Journal: Dear Trying Your Very Best You

Good Morning, Afternoon, Evening or Night! I hope you had a good holiday and this week finds you well.

Welcome back to Love Letters From A Therapist's Journal. Each week, there will be a different love letter written to a specific version of you.

Please visit the blog to view the previous letters I have written to you.

This week’s love letter is Dear Trying Your Very Best You.This is the version of you that is putting your best foot forward—I mean, you are really trying. Even when no one else sees it. Even when you sometimes yourself don’t see it.

Dear Trying Your Very Best You,

You fight silent battles every day that others don’t see. You smile, but behind that smile, you are really suffering. You are crying on the inside. Sometimes you feel it is an uphill battle. You feel like your best isn’t good enough—for the world. For you.

You set goals. You never meet them.

From what you see, it’s so deflating sometimes. You beat yourself up all the time.

“What am I doing this for? I want to give up!”

You feel like a disappointment to your loved ones. You feel like a disappointment to yourself.

Reflections

Okay, let’s reel it in. I know this is how you feel. Your feelings are real and they are important. But cut yourself some slack here.

You have to give yourself credit for the invisible battles you fight. Just because they are silent battles does not mean they are not still battles. They require your effort and your energy. They are still work.

Ask yourself:Does everything have to give you your desired result in order to be recognized? What happens when life happens and you can’t give your best? What then? Also, think about if your expectations are realistic and where did you get these expectations from?

Applications

So let’s get to work on this. I think we can fix this. Let’s dig into some steps we can take to fix it.

1. Shift Your Perspective

Bear with me here. I always say, sometimes our biggest friend or enemy can be the words we speak to ourselves… which feeds how we think, or our perspectives.

When we criticize, we tend to highlight the bad, but never recognize the good. You feel like you are working, but not progressing, not moving. But what if you are making progress, you just don’t see it?

Take this example: Think about riding a bike and being parked on a hill. You are sitting still. But do you know how much incredible effort it takes to sit still? No, you are not moving, but you are making progress. Sometimes, progress is stagnation because you could be going backwards. So sometimes we have to recognize that just staying in the same place is progress.

This example is one I use as part of my Self-Care System. Taking care of yourself works best when it’s intentional and complete. My Self-Care System guides you through nurturing all parts of yourself—mind, body, and emotions—so you can feel more grounded, recharged, and in control.

2. Know Your Worth

You feel like if you don’t accomplish something, you and your efforts are not valid. Not worth mentioning. Not worth the effort.

There is a saying: instead of loving people and using things, we use people and love things.

This is to say your value is not what you do. Your value is who you are. You have to know that you are worth everything, even if you do nothing. Even when you do nothing.

Because there is more to you than what you do. The way you think. The way you express yourself. The way you love. The way you speak. That is essence of you. That is what is most important. Not your tasks.

3. Craft Your Own Expectations

Admittedly, the majority of us get our expectations from society. Also, unfortunately, from comparing ourselves to others. They say comparison is the thief of joy. And it really is.

This is a quick and fast way to set unrealistic expectations and to set ourselves up for failure.

We have to give ourselves goals that are applicable to us, not to someone else. We look at others’ lives from the outside, when we live our lives from the inside. We know the ins and outs of our lives, but not others.

So why not use that information to be realistic for ourselves? For instance, it may not fit your life right now to run a marathon. That might not be realistic for you. But why can’t you bask in doing your sprints? And that doesn’t mean you won’t ever run a marathon.

Do what you can do right now. And be gracious and patient with yourself in the process. Now let's do a little homework to drive these concepts home. Journaling Prompts.

Journaling Prompts

In completing the journaling prompts, please complete the following sentences as you process this week’s letter to delve a little deeper:

• When I think about my goals and what I want to accomplish, I…

• When I have to take a break and need rest, I feel…

• When I think about the expectations that are placed on me, I realize they come from…

I think that’s enough for now. Now onto finishing the letter.

Dear Trying Your Very Best You,

You have to know that you are absolutely crushing this! You are doing the very best that you can. And that is good enough.

You are not always going to meet what you set out to do. But congratulate yourself on your efforts. You are doing so much. And if others cannot see it, you need to.

On the other hand, even during the times you cannot do much and you need to rest, give yourself some grace. And remember the bike-on-the-hill example. You are still working. At rest.

And you are valuable even when you are unable to perform.

Because you are amazingly you.

Remember, your value is in who you are. Not what you do. So appreciate who. You. Are.

With Love,

From Your Therapist’s Journal

Life moves fast, and it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos without taking a single moment for yourself. When your mind is racing and your energy is low, it’s hard to stay grounded, focused, or even positive.

That’s why I created two quick, powerful tools to help you reset and reclaim your calm — exactly when you need it most:

• Mini Reset Tool – a few simple steps to instantly refocus and regain your calm.

• Printable Affirmation Cards – 5 cards to encourage, uplift, and remind you of your worth, even on your busiest days.

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Don’t wait until the overwhelm takes over. Click the button below, enter your email, and get both tools delivered to you right away.

Get Your Free Tools!

If this letter spoke to you, sign up to receive a free self-care tool designed to help you stay grounded, supported, and encouraged throughout your week.

What will you do today to craft your own expectations?Leave a comment below and let me know.

Affirmation for This Week

Each week, I will leave you with an affirmation to repeat to yourself as a reminder of the concepts in the letter. This week’s affirmation is:

“I am valuable because of the person I am, not because of the things that I do.”

About the Author

Lauren Cartwright, MS, LCPC, is a licensed therapist with over 20 years of experience helping professional women (and all women) achieve balance through self-care. Lauren is a Christian, a mother, and a breast cancer survivor who integrates faith, humor, and honesty into her work. She wants to help readers reconnect with themselves so they can discover what truly works for them and practice self-care in a way that fits their lives.